Phobia&Remorse

i feel very trapped by the idea of expression... like wanting to do so tightens the grips, rather than loosens them.... i wish i could just let go and take fabulous photographs without cause, but the harder i try to be unguarded the more guarded and contrived they become! of course... i realise this is typical. but it is also frustrating. how do i get away from this and take REAL photographs? everything i've ever built toward has been through language, so how do i transfer that learning to the visual? how do i see what i think and what runs through my head in a series of sentences, words and phrases?